"Maria, we've planted some carrots in the garden."
"eh?"
"Yeah, we thought it'll probably be cheaper to grow our own. You know, if we have a carrot tree. It's your turn to water it, FYI"
"What, we growing our own carrots?"
"Yep."
"And I have to water them?"
"Well, tomorrow. It's your turn."
"Ae you sure you can grow carrot trees?"
"Yeah, definitely."
"Oh, okay. Well, I'll water them later."
"I think we should all go to bed."
"Why?"
"I don't know, we just should."
"Well, I'm going to bed in a bit."
"Oh okay, well can I borrow your macbook then?"
"Sorry babe. I'm watching Prison Break on it."
"Are you actually?"
"Yes, I am.."
"But are you actually?"
"Yes. Anyway, even if I wasn't, it's still mine."
"well, that's your ideology."
"What?"
"It's your ideology that your macbook is yours to use."
"but it is mine to use. It's mine."
"It's your ideology."
"You're an ideology."
"No, I can't be an ideology. That's stupid."
"Shut up. I'm going to bed."
"So are you using your macbook then?"
"Yes. And if I wasn't, it's still mine to use and I only lend it to you because I'm kind."
"Yeah, that's your ideology."
"Oh, fuck off."
"I'm really worried about my dissertation."
"You're always worried about your dissertation, Mags.."
"But I don't feel like I've DONE anything yet."
"You've written 2500 words."
"Yes, but I haven't DONE anything today."
"Well, you have."
"But I haven't. I've just sat in the library with foreign students who TALK in the silent study section."
"But you've read stuff."
"Well yeah, I SUPPOSE. We really need to pay these bills." (This is said every week, it's never happened yet.)
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Screentest
My housemates Maggie and Martin are horrendously more talented than me, and they were nominated for some student film awards this weekend. We fancied a weekend away and carted ourselves a few miles west to enjoy the cultural hub that is Bristol.
And onto the festival. There's a saying about student films: They're either too long, or much too long. We were subjected to both. We thought it would be good to take in a few animations and music videos, as they surely couldn't be more than five minutes, right? Wrong. One of the gems was an 'animation' that was made by walking through the streets of Canterbury and filming it on high exposure and making the lights strobe. For eight minutes.
We breathed a sigh of relief when it came to the comedy bit. Well, until they put on a lovely little number called 'Genre'. The premise itself was okay - exploring the different genres of film through comedy. Problem was, it wasn't funny in the slightest. Unless you're about eight. And have no brain. Also, the technical quality wasn't fab either. Two words: Audio Optional.
The cast couldn't act, the cuts were bad, editing was horrendous. And the worst of it - it was 28 minutes long. 28 MINUTES!! 28 minutes of hell!
The awards themselves were fantastic. We got completely slaughtered on free cobra beer, Martin won an award and thanked our media school for spending all our kit bidget on plasma media screens, and we drank more beer. fantabulous.
However, it couldn't last forever. Maggie's film lost to a wank film about a man who eats nothing but carrots alll day for four days... he turns into a carrot in the end. he called it vegetise me. how original. it wasn't funny and it wasn't clever. twat.
we spent the rest of the night attempting to steal expensive software, but then got a conscience when we were actually successful and gave it back. Martin later threw up on the bar and managed to get away with it. That was about the height of the excitement, but I'm still moving to Bristol at some point. One, it's a very lovely cultural city, and two, the blokes are much much better looking than the ones in Bournemouth. And they don't highlight their hair.
And onto the festival. There's a saying about student films: They're either too long, or much too long. We were subjected to both. We thought it would be good to take in a few animations and music videos, as they surely couldn't be more than five minutes, right? Wrong. One of the gems was an 'animation' that was made by walking through the streets of Canterbury and filming it on high exposure and making the lights strobe. For eight minutes.
We breathed a sigh of relief when it came to the comedy bit. Well, until they put on a lovely little number called 'Genre'. The premise itself was okay - exploring the different genres of film through comedy. Problem was, it wasn't funny in the slightest. Unless you're about eight. And have no brain. Also, the technical quality wasn't fab either. Two words: Audio Optional.
The cast couldn't act, the cuts were bad, editing was horrendous. And the worst of it - it was 28 minutes long. 28 MINUTES!! 28 minutes of hell!
The awards themselves were fantastic. We got completely slaughtered on free cobra beer, Martin won an award and thanked our media school for spending all our kit bidget on plasma media screens, and we drank more beer. fantabulous.
However, it couldn't last forever. Maggie's film lost to a wank film about a man who eats nothing but carrots alll day for four days... he turns into a carrot in the end. he called it vegetise me. how original. it wasn't funny and it wasn't clever. twat.
we spent the rest of the night attempting to steal expensive software, but then got a conscience when we were actually successful and gave it back. Martin later threw up on the bar and managed to get away with it. That was about the height of the excitement, but I'm still moving to Bristol at some point. One, it's a very lovely cultural city, and two, the blokes are much much better looking than the ones in Bournemouth. And they don't highlight their hair.
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