We've let our bills pile up on top of the fridge, and they're not disappearing. So, I, having lost shotgun (as I do EVERY time) was chosen to sort it all out. The first two bills were paid over the net, and weren't too problematic. However, our water bill wasn't quite so easy...
bournemouth water: 'hello, and welcome to bournemouth water. this is an automated voice service. Do you want to pay your bill?
me: yes
bw: did you say yes?
me: yes
bw: let me check that again. did you say yes?
me: YES!!!
bw: thank you. please give me your reference number
me: 5649023
bw: did you say 734020?
me: no?
bw: let's try that again. please state your reference number.
me: 5649023
bw: did you say 8165430?
me: NO!
bw: okay, please key in that number using the touchtone keypads on your telephone.
me: why didn't you tell me that in the first place?
bw: did you say 7999988?
me: No, I said you're a stupid cow.
bw: okay. pleae key in your number now.
I key it in.
bw: okay. please give me your bank details.what is your account number?
me: 7895727829
bw: thank you. did you say 8997928882?
me: no.
bw: okay. I am unable to process your request. I will put you through to one of our operators.
me: thank goodness for that.
(ring ring)
bw: I am sorry, none of our operators can take your call at the moment. Please leave a contact number and we will call you back.
me: 01202736737
bw: did you say 8363739391010?
me: Oh, for heaven's sake! (slams down phone)
I recovered myself and called an hour later. this time i figured out the system and paid. they then asked for my contact number in case of any issues,
me: 07965391099
bw: did you say 802716263?
me: no.
bw: okay. sorry, my mistake. let's try that again.
me: 07965391099
bw: did you say 80271628272?
me: NO!
bw: Okay, let's leave that. Goodbye.
good news... bills paid.
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