I got the train back from Wimbledon the other day. In an attempt to save money, we'd booked way in advance and only paid £19 for a return from Bournemouth to London. The issue with advance tickets, however, is that you have to, no matter what, stick to the train you've booked. Yes, even if your nan is in hospital and your left leg is about to fall off.
Anyway - we booked the last train back to Bournemouth but arrived about an hour earlier. By now, I'd had about 3 hours sleep in 48 hours and had had enough. We asked two guards politely whether we could possibly get on an earlier train.
It was as if I'd asked whether we could travel standing naked on the roof of the train. 'Oh, no' one of them sniffed. 'No, you can't do THAT.' Of course, the reason was 'well, you just can't, you buy that ticket, you have to travel on that train'.
'But it's not causing any problems, if we just get on this train.'
'That's not the point'.
'Well what is the point then?' Of course, the point is that people like train conductors are taught to never take initiative or use their common sense, and not take risks that are more than their job's worth. But I let it go, and resigned myself to getting our original train.
I don't know if you've ever got a train late at night, when you're tired and wouldn't mind a kip. Well, don't try sleeping on the train. First off, the air con is so cold it rivals the training conditions for the antarctic race, the announcements are so loud that they could wake the dead, and the lights are so bright that your sunnies wouldn't go amiss.
Therefore, I suggest that the following practices be put in place on trains travelling after 10pm:
Turn the lights on low, issue cushions to passengers, allow passengers to have a wakeup call before their stop instead of announcements, and play soft classical music or the Harry Potter audiobooks to ensure restful sleep.
