My obsession with Brand

He’s been referred to as a ‘showman, shaman and sex-machine rolled into one’ and he backcombs his hair. He’s been addicted to heroin, rolls about onstage in a bath and always wears the same attire – black jeans so skinny they’d put an anorexic to shame, a fitted black shirt (unbuttoned, revealing the tiniest glimpse of hair) and a vast array of silver chains and elaborate belts, not to mention the boots. Oh, those boots. Yes, it’s the one and only Russell Brand.

Born in 1975, Brand careered onto the public scene with his stint on the Channel Four show Big Brother’s Big Mouth. For anyone who comes out in hives at the mere thought of watching a big-haired, foul-mouthed, sex-crazed hooligan discussing the shenanigans of the poor sad souls who are so desperate for z-list fame that they’d choose to be filmed whilst locked up in a house with 11 other similarly pathetic beings, please give Russell another chance. He’s deeply intelligent, is a master of the English language (despite being from Grays in Essex – in fact, he pulls his regional accent off rather well. My boyfriend remains convinced that the only reason we’re actually together is that he has an Essex accent, similar to that of my beloved Mr Brand) and to top it all off, he’s just so darn sexy.

He’s referred to himself as a ‘beta male’ and repeatedly pokes fun at the many perilous predicaments he manages to land himself in. As with all great comedians, it’s the way he tells it. In his own words: ‘‘My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.’’

His showmanship is remarkable – I was lucky enough to be taken to see Brand’s new standup tour ‘Doing Life’ at the Roundhouse in Camden. Despite being tight-fitting, the signature jeans don’t hinder Brand’s ability to prance about onstage and demonstrate what he refers to as his ‘shagging techniques’. A self-confessed sex-addict, Brand has no qualms about sharing sex tips and recommending threesomes - as well as describing to his (slightly shocked) audience some rather unsavoury sexual preferences.

But perhaps what makes Russell stand out most amongst Britain’s plethora of talented comedians is this: He’s unstoppable. I’ve attended quite an array of comedy shows in recent years, and while they’ve always been fantastic fun to watch, it is possible to drift (albeit very slightly) into a world of your own and miss one or two of the gags. But you can’t take your eyes off Russell when he’s on stage. His height (accentuated by his eccentric hairstyle) may be a factor, but it’s also his unique mix of physical comedy interlaced with an impeccable command of the English language that draws you in, and when you’re spat out at the end, you feel exhausted and exhilarated all in one.

What’s also fabulous about him is that he’s everywhere – and still you just can’t get enough. Download the podcast of his BBC Radio2 show (which airs on Sundays) and you’ll be in stitches – a word of warning though: don’t listen to it in public unless you fancy receiving some strange looks. He appears more and more frequently on television – on chat shows, political satire programmes and he’s recently hosted his own show on Channel 4 – Ponderland where he discussed an array of topics including childhood and science. He’s also on the shelves in the form of his autobiography entitled ‘My Booky Wook’ and of course, there’s the DVD releases of his stand-up tours which guarantee over an hour of fantastic entertainment.

Brand is set to go down in British history as one of its greatest comedians, but while he’s climbing the ladder to superstardom, enjoy the show.

The joys of being a Graduate

I am now a fully-fledged graduate. I go to work, wake up at 8am and go to bed at a sensible time (well, mostly). As nice as it is having a transfer go into my bank account at the end of every month, it's a confusing time.

For example - is this it? Is the rest of my life going to consit of waking up in the morning and going to work until i retire at 60? Unless, of course, I decide to have a baby and I then have to dedicate the rest of my life to looking after him or her. Which, to be honest, doesn't appeal either.

Therefore, I have decided to embark upon a different career - that of the French Novelist. Okay, first major flaw in the plan is that I'm not French. Hell, I'm not even European. But, I've decided that this isn't too much of a problem, provided that I live in France, in a cottage, in a village in Provence. Problem solved.

My activities as a French Novelist will include: Going down to the local bakery to buy bread, and consume lots of olives and truffles and whatever else it is the French eat - oh yes, cheese. Reading late into the night. Lounging by the pool (my cottage will be a rather large one equipped with a pool and sauna). Making trips to Paris where I look at lots of art galleries. Of course, these activities will not leave very much time for writing novels, but I'll squeeze it in somehow.

For some reason, I feel a lot better now. Even though I have done absolutely nothing at work all day apart from write this blog and check facebook repeatedly.